Can't Bear to Sleep? It's Unmet Emotions!

Written by: Melody, TCM Practitioner

"Can't bear to sleep" stems from unmet emotional needs, leading to "revenge bedtime procrastination" to compensate for the day's shortcomings.

Why "Revenge Bedtime Procrastination" Happens

🔹 Suppressed Daytime Emotions: 

During the day, we might suppress many emotions due to work, studies, or relationships. At night, when external distractions lessen, these suppressed emotions tend to surge forth.

🔹 Escapism from Reality: 

Staying up late scrolling on your phone or playing games is a way to escape reality. In the virtual world, we can temporarily forget our troubles and gain a brief sense of satisfaction.

🔹 Seeking Control: 

Staying up late is a form of controlling time. By staying up, we feel like we can master our own time, thus gaining a sense of control.

🔹 Compensatory Psychology:

Many people sacrifice their hobbies during the day due to work or studies. Staying up late at night becomes a form of compensation.

🔹 Social Needs: 

On social media, nighttime is often an active period. To stay updated with social circles, many people choose to stay up late.

"Can't Bear to Sleep" & "Revenge Bedtime Procrastination" from a TCM Perspective

TCM believes that inability to sleep is mainly due to problems with the body's Qi and Blood, much like a machine malfunctioning.

🔺 Disturbed Heart Spirit (心神不宁): 

Modern life's fast pace and high pressure easily lead to a disturbed Heart spirit, making it difficult to fall asleep. When Heart Fire is too strong, it's like a boiling pot of water that can't settle down. TCM believes that the Heart governs the spirit, and a disturbed Heart spirit is often related to excessive thinking and emotional distress.

🔺 Liver Qi Stagnation (肝气郁结): 

The Liver governs smooth flow. Liver Qi stagnation leads to impaired Qi and Blood circulation, thus affecting sleep. When Liver Qi is not smooth, it's like a tightly coiled spring.

🔺 Spleen Deficiency with Dampness Obstruction (脾虚湿困): 

The Spleen governs the transformation of water and dampness. Spleen deficiency with dampness obstruction easily leads to a heavy body and fatigue, yet difficulty falling asleep.

🔺 Kidney Yin Deficiency (肾阴不足): 

The Kidneys store essence. Kidney Yin deficiency leads to internal empty heat disturbing the mind, causing irritability and insomnia.

"Revenge bedtime procrastination" is essentially an over-exhaustion of the body, equivalent to continuously overloading the body's machinery. Over time, the machine will completely break down. Long-term habits like this will further aggravate issues like Heart and Spleen deficiency, Liver Qi stagnation, forming a vicious cycle.

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How to Break Free from "Revenge Bedtime Procrastination"

✨ Acknowledge Daytime Emotions:

Find the reasons for your suppressed emotions during the day and try to address them. You can write in a journal, talk to friends, or seek professional help.

✨ Establish Healthy Sleep Habits:

Set a fixed sleep schedule, create a comfortable sleep environment, and avoid electronic devices before bedtime.

✨ Find Healthy Ways to Relax:

Besides staying up late, you can relax your body and mind through exercise, listening to music, or reading.

✨ Cultivate Hobbies:

Develop some hobbies to make your life rich and colorful.

✨ Learn to Say No:

Learn to decline unnecessary social activities to allow yourself enough rest time.

If these methods don't yield results, then you might consider TCM professional help.

How Can TCM Improve Sleep?

🌱 Regulate Heart and Spleen:

Through dietary adjustments, eat more foods that strengthen the Spleen and replenish Qi, and nourish the Heart and calm the spirit, such as millet, lotus seeds, and longan.

🌱 Soothe Liver and Resolve Stagnation:

TCM methods like acupuncture and moxibustion can unblock meridians, regulate Qi and Blood, and alleviate Liver Qi stagnation.

🌱 Nourish Yin and Tonify Kidneys:

If insomnia is due to Kidney Yin deficiency, some Yin-nourishing and Kidney-tonifying Chinese herbs can be prescribed.

🌱 Adjust Routine:

Try to maintain a regular routine and avoid staying up late.

🌱 Create a Good Sleep Environment:

Keep your bedroom quiet, dark, and well-ventilated.

Little Tips:

⚠️ Don't Use Staying Up Late as a Reward:

Many people use staying up late to reward themselves, but this approach is not advisable.

⚠️ Adjust Your Routine Gradually:

If you've been staying up late for a long time, don't force yourself to go to bed early all at once. You can gradually adjust your sleep schedule.

⚠️ Seek Professional Help:

If your sleep problems severely affect your life, you can seek help from a professional doctor.

In conclusion, to break free from "revenge bedtime procrastination," you need to make both psychological and behavioral adjustments. From a TCM perspective, "can't bear to sleep" is often a manifestation of internal bodily imbalance. By regulating the Heart and Spleen, soothing the Liver and resolving stagnation, nourishing Yin and tonifying the Kidneys, combined with dietary adjustments and lifestyle changes, sleep quality can be effectively improved.

If you'd like to learn more about TCM wellness, or if you'd like more personalized advice for your specific situation, we recommend booking a consultation.